Mormons

I am currently at my moms house; I was just at the bank depositing a check for my dad and when I got back here there were two people standing at my door. I walked up and they introduced themselves as Elder Hexer and Elder Albert.

Mormons.

They asked me if they could have a moment to speak with me, and I said it would be a little pointless, since I'm a "devout atheist". I said how I don't believe in creationism, nor the big bang, because they are both seemingly super stupid ideas. Briefly I mentioned that I was raised Roman Catholic, but stopped believing as I reached adolescence, yet around 18 years old I went back to church a few times to find out if it was just my rebellious teen years telling me there was no God. Of course, it did nothing; I'm still atheist.

They then took their turn speaking to me about what the main difference is in Mormon belief compared to other christian faiths. They noted that that explanation wouldn't do anything for me, and I agreed. Then they asked to come inside, and I said again, it would be silly, but they could if they so desired.. Oh, right, I should say that it's raining outside right now (lol). They realized what i really meant and stayed outside.

Elder Hexer handed me some literature and wrote his number (omg i got da guize numba!).

When Hexer was talking to me about how after Jesus died he appeared on another continent? He didn't elaborate, which I should have asked him to. I also should have asked him what color Jesus was when he appeared elsewhere planiterally. Along that same line, I should have asked him why Jesus is white on the cover of their pamphlet.

Yeah, that's about it.

i fucking miss you.

but I know I did the right thing. I know I deserve more of an apology than the one I have received. I know there were other options, but I know you wouldn't change regardless.

The fact that you haven't called me, texted me, or even left me a message on facebook or the like tells me you will not change. It tells me you really think you did no wrong. It tells me that I was right to move away from you, as bloody painful as that was.

I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I made you sad and I'm sorry I brought tears to your eyes. I'm sorry we didn't see eye to eye on everything. I am apologizing because I don't know what else to do. Apologizing is all I ever do...

I put that picture there because that's the happiest I'd seen you in a long time, and I'll never again see you smile to much because of me. That's one of the most painful things.

Joanne, you were everything to me. Truley you were. That's why it hurt me so fucking badly when you left me in that hotel room. That's why I almost got sick when I found out you stayed over that faggot's house without telling me. That's why it hurt so bad when you dismissed everything I had to say. That's why, although you never knew this, it hurt pretty bad when you decided to blow off the plans I had for us on your birthday weekend.

I don't know if you still check this blog, and I don't know what you'll think if/when you see this... but if you are going to respond to it... understand that I am no longr your boyfriend and I will speak my mind to you.

Goodbye.

It's been a while...

but all that sh-- oh whoops. sorry, I was stuck in the song .

Alright, I am all done school for the semester, which means now I can focus on shit I want to focus on... BAHAHAHAHHA oh man, I almost wrote that as a serious fact. Well, it's not. I am pretty much being forced into getting a second job because... well let me show you.

My bills per month are just shy of $1000.

I make, in a month period just over $1200.

$200 a month to play with, fill my tank, buy cigarettes and anything else that comes along. Fuck man, that's so small. I drive over 500 miles in a week, just to and from work, and down to see my girlfriend or pick up my sister.

Gah, whatever, you get the idea. I'm strapped. Let's move on. I just read Twilight; pretty good. It put me in the mood to get Kid Awesome going again, so I might work on that a small bit tonight 'fore I go to sleep.

I don't know what else to say. I'm tired and can't think.

Laptop

This post is from my ipod. Next week ill have my laptop back and will be able to post again

HEDGE

Took a total of three minutes to make this, and I love it. I'm such a loser.

Why I haven't been carrying my book/At least I can work with films

So, I used to always carry a pad of paper with me. At all times. I've done thise for quite some time now. Sometimes it would be a large legal pad, other times a reporters book stuffed in my back pocket.

A while back, my girlfriend bought for me a moleskin pad for my back pocket, so I don't have to carry flimsy, or awkward size pads of paper for my random thoughts to be jot down upon. About two months ago, I put on a pair of jeans and unfortunately, the pad didn't fit well into the back pocket, and I feared it would fall out, so for the first time in almost a year, I was without paper at my disposal. After that day, I more and more frequently chose not to pocket my paper.

In the past two weeks, probably three days have I had my pad with me. I need to bring my pad back. I need the paper. I forget too many thoughts.

Today for example, I was walking through the building I work in and something came to me out of nowhere. I went to reach for my paper, but it wasn't there. I continued about my business until a short while later I had paper near me and I wanted to write down my idea, but I had already forgotten it. This happens very often, and it's quite annoying.

Most annoying about it is, with so little time to get any quality writing done, without even these small ideas being written down, I feel like I'm wasting my thoughts.

I compiled a short video and put it up on youtube last night. For my work, I do a lot now. I do warehouse picking, packing, receiving, and other small stuff, as well as Filing for the office, video editing, and a small bit of work with broadcasting. Video editing, though, is completely off my normal hours, and I get paid special for that. Because I am working with video editors, DVD Rippers and raw Music files all the time now and practically for free, I don't feel bad taking time to play with the programs for myself. The aforementioned video is just stuff I've done and messed up on. The first part you see in it, I was trying to record something and didn't realize that I hit the wrong button on my remote so when I went to hit the button again to turn the recording off, I actually turned the recording on. The rest are pretty obvious what went wrong. ONE of them is staged. Can you tell which?

Keep in mind that "Tomorrow" is subjective.

Maybe. I'm not sure if I've used that term right, and I don't feel like looking up it's proper use.

Alright, it's been a little while. Here's the scoop, real quick, cause I'm about to go to lunch. I now split my time at work between warehouse, and office. While in the office, I have access and allowed use of a computer, and my own desk. I can now Scribble at work, once again.

"Tomorrow" I'll post info about stuff. yep.