and the blog remains.
i am not going to kill this blog. there's no reason to.
I haven't updated much lately and don't know if I will for a while, until I'm really settled into my new apartment. Plus I've been sulking a lot. Lost a friend recently (not to death, i was literally told to stop talking to her (yikes!)) and that's got me really bummed out. I'm still writing everyday, but I just can't put my whole heart into it because I am just so distracted.
Blah, oh well. I'll get through this, and when I do, you can bet I'll be writing nonstop when my mood swings back up.
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I haven't updated much lately and don't know if I will for a while, until I'm really settled into my new apartment. Plus I've been sulking a lot. Lost a friend recently (not to death, i was literally told to stop talking to her (yikes!)) and that's got me really bummed out. I'm still writing everyday, but I just can't put my whole heart into it because I am just so distracted.
Blah, oh well. I'll get through this, and when I do, you can bet I'll be writing nonstop when my mood swings back up.
Might be closing this blog
Yes yes, shocking. I know. But don't worry, I don't mean I'm done being an opinionated ass online, I'm just changing how it's done. www.itsmarshallbruno.com is now in existence, and will be operating as my main source of outlet in all forms written soon.
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))<>((
That title is poop being passed from one butt to another. If you know the movie that's from you're awesome; if not, I look retarded.
update: i deleted the comments of the below entry. My website is not a place for personal arguments.
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Ok, updates. Girl uninterested. Script is going nowhere, though I'm thinking about it. Someone's trying to bother me (see post below).
detailed: Girl is fun, and seemingly nice, but also seemingly completely uninterested at this point. Whatever. Not much to say there.
I've been thinking about my story, trying to get the few details I'm still up in the air about down in concrete. Through the little quibble I had down below in the comments with the anonymous person, I've admitted something shameful. I have no plans to really do anything with anything I write. I used to want to. But now it just doesn't seem feasible. I'm really not a good writer, and without a doubt, quite unoriginal. Yet at the same time, I won't stop writing. Vonnegut once said, "Write for one person." Whoever that person is that says I suck at writing, you are so very much correct. I am a terrible writer. But pay attention because this is the part that matters, I'm not writing for you. I'm not writing for your friends, your family, your acquaintances, or anyone you know that can read. I'm writing for the one person that wants to read what I write. If there is more than one person, that's fine too. I like an audience.
And in other news: I have an apartment. Finally I am moving out of my father's house. My friend Theo and I have found a place about ten miles down the road from my dad's place and started to move in this week. This weekend we plan to finish up and start living there.
Alright I'm done. gonna watch the phils win the NLCS.
update: i deleted the comments of the below entry. My website is not a place for personal arguments.
My mind is racing.
I'm just going to throw out thoughts here. nothing particular; if I deviate from a topic so be it, I'm just writing to write.
I have this outlook on life nowadays. I look at a situation that makes me nervous, and I ignore it. That is to say, I have to do something, but the thought of doing it frightens me... I'm scared of doing it, not scared of how the result will end up. So what I do is I ignore the situation I am in, and I get a result.
Let's take a back flip for example. I'm trying to teach myself how to do a back flip right now, and it's the actual act of doing it that scares me. The jump, the tuck, the rotation, the spotting, the landing; it's nerve wracking to think about all that. So I ignore those things. There are so many things that could happen when I jump (since I don't know how to do one), the chances of me doing it right are fairly low. But there's a 100% chance I will get a result if I just try. It doesn't always work, but it helps.
Remember that confidence I was talking about having a while ago? It's very much gone. Like I said back then, it's just part of my crazy brain (manic depression? I'm still thinking so). But since that's gone, this has been my way to do things I'd normally shy from.
In other news, I've been tossing around story ideas in my head lately, writing a little bit more to my future full length romance. I am finding writing that to be a challenge though. Not sure why either. I have the story fleshed out in my head... I'm just having trouble with some transitions through the story, and that doesn't make sense unless you have seen part of the script.
See this Article
I have this outlook on life nowadays. I look at a situation that makes me nervous, and I ignore it. That is to say, I have to do something, but the thought of doing it frightens me... I'm scared of doing it, not scared of how the result will end up. So what I do is I ignore the situation I am in, and I get a result.
Let's take a back flip for example. I'm trying to teach myself how to do a back flip right now, and it's the actual act of doing it that scares me. The jump, the tuck, the rotation, the spotting, the landing; it's nerve wracking to think about all that. So I ignore those things. There are so many things that could happen when I jump (since I don't know how to do one), the chances of me doing it right are fairly low. But there's a 100% chance I will get a result if I just try. It doesn't always work, but it helps.
Remember that confidence I was talking about having a while ago? It's very much gone. Like I said back then, it's just part of my crazy brain (manic depression? I'm still thinking so). But since that's gone, this has been my way to do things I'd normally shy from.
In other news, I've been tossing around story ideas in my head lately, writing a little bit more to my future full length romance. I am finding writing that to be a challenge though. Not sure why either. I have the story fleshed out in my head... I'm just having trouble with some transitions through the story, and that doesn't make sense unless you have seen part of the script.
Lastly, and what's on my mind the most right now is a girl. I am seeing a new girl, and I like her a lot. Spent all weekend with her and had a great time. I would like to pursue seeing her. All weekend we were together things were great (from what I could tell). Today I didn't see her, and my crazy mind keeps thinking that she's realizing now that she's away that I'm a loser and she wouldn't want to see me again. It's (hopefully) (probably) (maybe) all a ludicrous thought, really to assume that she'd shy off just like that. But that's me, I worry like that. I hope to see her sometime this week and cement what we already talked about previously, which is being a couple (is it normal for a discussion to happen about this, or does it usually just become assumed after a while?).
Meh, that's all I have/want to write here in the public.
Take care.
Marshall.
new charity
Don't have much to say right now; haven't written much lately and i'm just really preparing to move into my first apartment. Big news right now is the new Charity my site is supporting.
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Writing for who?
I was just talking with a friend (acquaintance?) about writing. I asked her if I could read something she wrote and her response was, "i totally would, but one thing a scriptwriter once told me...never give your work to anyone". My immediate thought was, well than why write? I questioned her on it and got, "it could get into the wrong hands, not that i dont trust you, but its also that i have a problem with...finishing them..i'll get 120 pages and i can never complete them, i have five that ive never finished"
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The second part of her reasoning I agree with; there isn't really a reason to show your work when it isn't finished (even though I do all the time...). But the first reason she used, that's what struck me.
Personally, I write for two reasons: The first and more important is because I want to. Simple as that. The second reason, less important to me though still important, is to let someone react to it. I don't really care how they react, I just want them to.
Whatever they have to say about it is fine, I just want someone to read what I've created and have a thought about it. It's not up to me what they think about it. But if they don't read it, they can't think about it and they can't react to it.
Sure, there is that possibility that if I put all my writing on this blog someone will come along and steal it. Ya know what I think about that? What the fuck ever. I'm not setting out to make money on the stories I post here; if I wanted to make money on my stories, I'd actually do something with them other than sitting on them here on my blog. Don't get me wrong, if I ever go into a book store and pick up a copy of 2050 verbatim with someone else's name on it, I'll be seriously upset that someone did that without telling me... but again... so what? I wasn't going to do anything with it, so good for them.
Just to be clear though, I would go after someone by legal means if I came across my story published by someone else, so this entry isn't an admission of freedom for use. Yeah, I'd be upset and I'd pursue legal retribution, but again, I wouldn't be so much upset as I think I should be. I would actually be elated in a way.
See where I'm going? No? Ok, well if someone came across my story and stole it, that means that not only that person, but whoever published it and everyone that bought it thought it was good too. that would mean something. actually that would mean a lot.
So, I agree and disagree with my friend about sending out your writing.
I agree that it's bad to have your shit stolen. We work hard on our stories, and for someone to come along and simply take it is inconsiderate and rude. Not to mention completely illegal.
But I also disagree. You've written it, so let people read it. If no one sees it than it's like no one wrote it (schrodingers cat, anyone?).
Writing is an art, I'd say, if it's done right. But, see, art isn't art unless it's seen as art. Unless it's seen. I could draw the most beautiful picture ever, but if no one sees it, why did I draw it? Drawings are such that without being seen or experienced, they lose all meaning. ALL meaning. Same with writing. Should no one know about it, it's worthless. Completely.
Well that's my two cents.
Take care, everyone,
Marshall
The fixed version
Instead of changing what's already been published, I'll just make these words link to the new downloadable version of 2050. There may be some spelling errors, but I'm not worried about that, really. What matters is the story is how I want it.
See this Article
Enjoy, if you haven't read it already.
Take care,
Marshall
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